How To Create Lasting Change In 2024 And Beyond

Since we just entered a new year, I thought discussing how to create real lasting change would be fitting. Today, I want to share with you ladies the growth journey I’ve been on with God for the last couple of years and how that’s completely transformed my mind, body, and spirit from the inside out.

INTRO

Hey ladies! My name is Abimbola; most of you already know me, but if you don’t, hello. I’m so excited to be sharing with you today. Happy New Year! I believe 2024 will be a year of breakthroughs, open doors, and miracles. I’ve never shared my testimony like this before. But I believe that one small act of obedience to God can be the beginning of many opportunities. I’ve been going back and forth as to whether I was ready to share my testimony, and the truth is, when it comes to something like this, I don’t think you’ll ever feel fully ready. But, you have to listen to your heart and not your head and step out in faith to do what God has called you to do, so that’s what I’m doing, taking a step of faith and sharing my story.

ABOUT ME

I grew up in the church; when I was in Nigeria, we went to a First Assembly there, and when we came to America in 2000, we’ve been going to KFirst ever since. I love it here. It’s home. I graduated from Western Michigan University in 2017 with a communications and political science bachelor’s degree. I loved school. Learning made me happy. So, after I graduated and had no idea what I wanted to do with my life, I felt lost, hopeless, and scared. It would be almost two and a half years of feeling like this before I finally decided to change.

WHAT DRIVES PEOPLE TO CHANGE?

It’s a new year, and around this time, people start making resolutions or setting goals to take action and change their lives. The new year, new me vibe is strong. The desire to change your state is what empowers you to take action. However, although people start the new year with the best intentions to change their lives, most people don’t. Statistics show that 95% of people who make New Year’s resolutions break it by the second week of January. A date on the calendar doesn’t matter if you want to create real, lasting change. People don’t change because they are trying to meet a need or relieve a hurt with something other than God’s grace.

HOW I TRIED TO CHANGE FOR YEARS

I’d been trying to change my life by getting something instead of becoming someone for years. Since 2012, I’ve been trying to get my driver’s license. I wanted a license so badly because I believed it was the only way to be truly free and independent. And for years, I’d been ashamed that I couldn’t master the skill. I would take the written test multiple times and pass with flying colors every time, but when it came to putting it into practice, I couldn’t do it. This went on for years. Since the very first time I tried to learn how to drive, the thought of it has always made me fearful; it’s only ever been negative experiences and emotions behind the wheel. I also noticed that whenever I felt this way, my first response would be to run to God. However, after a couple of days passed, I would go right back to my old ways. I was filling my heart and head with distractions and focusing on all the wrong things. This back-and-forth relationship with my faith and my fear went on for years until, one day, I finally decided enough was enough; today is the day I start to change for good.

WHAT TRIGGERED ME TO CHANGE FOR GOOD

Love. I love my friends and knew I didn’t want to miss out on the life God had planned for me. I didn’t know exactly what I wanted in life, but I did know that I didn’t want to remain stuck where I was. For years, I had let fear stop me from pursuing what I wanted. I missed many opportunities and experiences because I was afraid to hurt others or cause conflict. I also started noticing patterns. I felt most angry and upset when I had to miss out on opportunities with my friends. And just like with my license, whenever I felt angry or fearful, my first response was God. But then, after some days had passed, I would return to my old thinking, existing and being patterns. On August 18, 2020, when I had to cancel dinner plans with friends because of my job, I made a declaration in my mind and wrote on my phone that on this day, my self-improvement journey officially began. I also remember telling myself that I’d never forget how hurt I felt at that moment. I knew this pattern would repeat itself if I didn’t change something about myself.

HOW I STARTED TO CREATE LASTING CHANGE

NLT, Romans 12:2 Don’t copy the behaviors and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.

I started focusing on my identity. In his book Atomic Habits, James Clear states that “every action you take is a vote for the kind of person you wish to become.” I went on a journey to transform, renew my mind, and grow my faith. You do what you do because of what you think of you. I wasn’t living like my identity was in Christ. Who does Christ say we are? You are a new creation in Christ Jesus, you are God’s workmanship, you are the light of the world, you are an ambassador of the most high, you are saved, and you are forgiven, to name a few.

I’d always loved listening to sermons, so one of the first things I started doing regularly was listening to sermons daily, worshiping Him with music, and reading and listening to His word. I started doing things that I already naturally enjoyed. But in addition to that, I also started reading personal development books. I wanted a deeper understanding of human behavior and why people are the way they are. The first book I read, which is still my favorite book to this day, is Atomic Habits. If you know me, you already know how much I love this book. It was the right book at the right time. In addition to reading books, I also started questioning myself regularly. I would do self-discovery prompts and make time to think deeply about who I was and what I wanted out of life. I invested in online courses, coaching programs, and more books; I had all the resources that I could ever need. Then, I took it a step further and started my blog, which helped me know myself better. Writing has had such a significant impact on my personal growth. Over time, I shifted my focus and eventually started doing all of these things regularly. The more I started focusing on who I was and who God wanted me to become, the more I changed.

SHIFT YOUR FOCUS

One of the best advice I would give to anyone trying to change anything in their life would be to change what they are focusing on because what you focus on, you feel, and how you feel influences what you do. “Seek, and you will find.” When I stopped focusing on negative emotions such as fear and anger and started focusing more on God and positive emotions like love and gratitude, my entire life started to change. My mind, mood, energy, and actions changed for the better. I was living in alignment with who God created me to be. The spirit of fear, failure, and death were all starting to flee as I grew closer to God and began to trust Him more.

FIVE LESSONS THAT HELPED ME SHIFT MY MINDSET ABOUT LIFE

YOU DON’T EXPERIENCE LIFE; YOU EXPERIENCE THE LIFE YOU FOCUS ON – TONY ROBBINS

For so long, I’d been wrestling with my fear and faith. I’d always loved God and knew He was good, but I didn’t trust Him wholeheartedly. It was when I fully committed to Him that I could discern His good and perfect will for my life. My fear of driving a car is not normal. It doesn’t come from God. It’s from the enemy.

NLT, 2 Timothy 1:7 For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love and self-discipline.

As I continually focused on God and renewed my mind, I no longer saw driving as something meant to harm me. Instead, I saw it as a challenge to help me grow.

NLT, Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.

You see, I’d always believed that getting my driver’s license was the only way I could be free and independent, and until I got it, I had no future or hope, but that was the enemy lying to me. I only wanted everything I thought a license would give me. More freedom, independence, opportunities, etc. But all those things I wanted could only be found in truly knowing Jesus. A driver’s license would never give me the freedom and peace of mind I needed.

YOUR NEXT LEVEL OF LIFE LIVES ON THE OTHER SIDE OF WHAT YOU FEAR – DEAN GRAZIOSI

For years, I was stuck where I did not belong because I was too afraid to face my fears. I didn’t fully believe that God was with me and that only He could save me. I spent six years in a job that I disliked because I wasn’t fully trusting God. On January 3, 2022, when I decided to leave my comfort zone and grow, that was the day I decided to trust God with my life fully. When I left almost two years ago, I had plans to build a business, but God had other plans for me, and His plans were superior. God helped me face my fears and delivered me from fear, death, and addiction. However, it wasn’t without warfare. The enemy was on the prowl. He roams around like a roaring lion, looking for who to devour, but God is bigger and stronger than any devil you’re facing. I had no idea how vulnerable I was when I left my home that evening. I was so focused on where I wanted to go that all the fear of what could go wrong just vanished. After the war was won, I came home a completely different person. I’m so proud to say that the blood of Jesus has saved me for two years now. I am free. I am forgiven. I am a new creation in Christ Jesus.

ALL CHANGE STARTS WITH BEING BRUTALLY HONEST WITH YOURSELF. – DEAN GRAZIOSI

In August of last year, I decided to make a significant change. I’ve walked almost every day for over four months. Why? I didn’t like the way I looked, and I knew that if I didn’t make a change, things would get worse with my health and body. So, I decided that I was going to walk every day no matter what and start eating cleaner and less frequently. Before I started my health journey, I told myself that I wasn’t only doing this to lose a certain amount of weight; I wanted walking to be a lifestyle choice. So, that was my mindset before I started walking, and since then, I’ve found ways to enjoy the journey. When we want to change something in our lives, it should always be about becoming the kind of person who can achieve it, not just getting the goal itself. This is one of the mistakes I made several times throughout my life, but as I’ve learned and grown, I’m trying not to repeat the same mistakes.

REAL CHANGE IS NOT BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION, BUT SPIRITUAL TRANSFORMATION – CRAIG GROESCHEL

Many people approach change with the mindset of getting something rather than becoming someone. But if you try to change the behavior without first letting God change your heart, the behavior will return. This quote by Craig Groeschel speaks to this so well.

“If we want to change our life, we must change our habits. But if we want to change our habits, we have to let God change our heart.”

That’s why most people struggle to change; when your actions don’t match your heart, that means you’re not living in alignment with who you are and this is also why developing good habits is so important. I’ve been learning to walk away from people and things that don’t serve me. It wasn’t until God transformed my mind and heart that I had the courage to take action and ultimately walk away from a life that was never serving God or me in the first place.

YOUR LIFE IS ALWAYS TRYING TO TEACH YOU SOMETHING, AND LESSONS REPEAT THEMSELVES UNTIL YOU LEARN THEM – MEL ROBBINS

Before I fully gave my heart to Christ, He’d been trying to get me to trust Him with all my fears and worries for a very long time, and He used my fear of driving to help me build my trust in Him and face my fears. Until I faced my fear, the issue of driving and missing out on life would keep returning. I kept wishing and hoping it would disappear, but hope alone doesn’t change your life; habits will. When I started filling my mind with His truth and developing healthy habits to help me grow in all areas of my life, my life started to change. Even though I don’t have my license, I no longer see it as something meant to harm me; instead, I see it as a challenge to help me grow. Even though my situation didn’t change, the way I see it has. This quote sums up this statement very well.

“Any place in your life where you feel pain, stress, frustration, anger, sadness, hurt, that is a call to GROW, and the pain will stay until you get the lesson. That is how life works.” – Tony Robbins.

I was feeling all these negative emotions because that is what I was focusing on half the time; once I broke out of that pattern in my life, things started to improve drastically. Until I got the lesson, this fear of driving would keep triggering me to change. I needed to change my mindset about driving, and when I finally did, I felt so free.

GNT, James 1:21 So get rid of every filthy habit and all wicked conduct. Submit to God and accept the word that He plants in your hearts, which is able to save you.

Developing good habits is one of the most powerful ways to put what you are learning into practice.

Related Post: Five Habits That Have Improved My Life

FIVE HABITS THAT HAVE CHANGED MY LIFE

PRAYER

Prayer is SO powerful. I’ve been praying daily for the past two years, and it’s made a huge difference in my life. I’d always struggled to be consistent with prayer, but after my breakthrough two years ago, I decided to make prayer a serious priority and pray every day. I’ve grown to love it. I love praying and talking to God. I know He’s always with me, and He listens, and He cares. Get into the habit of prayer if you haven’t already.

GRATITUDE

For over a year, I’ve been practicing gratitude daily. I write in my journal and express gratitude to God through prayer. This has had such a positive impact on my mindset and growth journey. Gratitude allows you to see more of the good that’s around you. We live in a world that can be so negative sometimes, so taking time to pause and look for the positive will allow you to appreciate the world around you more deeply. The two things that mess us up are fear and anger. The antinode to those two negative emotions is gratitude. You can’t be grateful and fearful at the same time, and you can’t be angry and grateful at the same time.

NLT, Philippians 4: 6-7 Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all He has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

WALKING

On August 21, 2023, I decided to get into the habit of walking every day. I wanted to lose weight, but I also wanted to live a healthier lifestyle and prove that I could be consistent and show up for myself. I’ve walked almost every day for the past four months. My transformation has blown people away, and frankly, I’ve been blown away, too. Once your spirit decides to do something, your mind will find a way to achieve it. The Holy Spirit has been empowering me to keep going even when I don’t feel like it; He gives me the strength to keep going. When I started walking every day, I had a very strong why, and I told myself that even if I didn’t see any progress with my weight, I’d keep going, and so I did. Week after week, I’d continue to walk and track my progress. Four months later, after almost 4 million steps, tens of thousands of calories burned, and hundreds of miles walked, I’m 45 pounds lighter.

NLT, Zechariah 4:10 Do not despise these small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin.

You have no idea how God might do something big through a tiny habit. Tiny changes over a long period of time can produce remarkable results.

LEARNING

I love learning. I always have, and I always will. After graduating college, one of the biggest mistakes I made was stopping learning and being curious. Learning doesn’t stop when you leave the classroom. Life is the most prominent school you will ever attend; it’s always teaching you something, but whether you learn the lessons is a different story. For so long, I’d been trying to get my license, thinking that it would make me happy, but God has been trying to get my attention and show me that a license would not give me the peace I was craving.

“What you get will never make you happy; who you become and what you contribute will.” – Tony Robbins

I needed to grow. I needed to change my mindset around the situation before I’d be given the gift of perspective to see what God had been trying to get me to see all along. I needed to lean on Him more than I depended on my strength.

WRITING

Writing has been a powerful tool to help me grow and learn more about myself and the world. When I started my blog, I aimed to share my growth journey with others and the lessons and tools I was applying to my life. I want to pick up writing on my blog again more consistently. I’ve learned so much since my breakthrough two years ago, and I believe that sharing my journey and learnings with others can help people who feel stuck, discouraged, or hopeless. I want to share the good news of Jesus and let others know that when we put our trust and hope in Him, He will never leave nor forsake us. He is FOR you, not against you.

PAY ATTENTION TO THE PATTERN

I had a bad habit of only coming to God when I had a problem, and the problem was usually related to driving. I did not have a healthy relationship with myself. It wasn’t until I learned to fully trust in Him that I would get the peace of mind that I’d been wanting, the peace that passes human understanding. Real, lasting change has to happen in your heart, but it doesn’t start in your heart; it starts with the habits. I’ve noticed a pattern lately. Anytime I’m on the brink of a breakthrough, the enemy starts attacking my mind, and he does it through the people I love most. However, since I’ve become more aware of how the enemy attacks me, I’ve learned how to combat his attacks. I stay close to God. Read His word, pray, journal, worship, learn, keep my eyes focused on Him, and that gives me peace that no weapon formed against me shall prosper. The enemy did not want me to speak today, but I knew that meant I needed to. Nothing happens in this life that God is not aware of. Everything seems random until you realize that there are patterns to things. I know I’m on the edge of another breakthrough. How does a breakthrough happen? In his book Atomic Habits, James Clear states, “Breakthrough moments are often the result of many previous actions that build up the potential required to unleash major change.” This one act of obedience to share my testimony for the first time is the beginning of something beautiful.

EXERCISE

Now it’s time to take some action!

I’ve shared a lot about my journey and what it took for me to create real, lasting change. One of the main things I started doing when I started my growth journey was writing down my goals. People who write down their goals are more likely to achieve them. I want to walk us through an exercise so you don’t just leave feeling inspired but have something tangible to take with you after you leave today. Also, I understand that God’s plans are not our plans and His ways are not ours, but I don’t believe that means we shouldn’t still make plans or set goals. We should have a vision for our lives; without one, people perish. I believe that if our plans are in God’s will, He will make them even better than we can imagine. So, with that being said:

QUESTIONS

1. Between now and the next 90 days, what two goals would you like to achieve based on who God is calling you to become? Attach positive emotions to your goals; emotion drives us.
2. Why must you achieve these goals you’ve written down? Reasons come first, and answers come second. If you have strong enough reasons, you will find a way to get where you want to be.
3. What one habit do you need to start to reach those goals?
4. What one habit do you need to stop to reach those goals?
5. What’s one action you will take this week to move you closer to your goals?

CLOSING

That’s all I have for you today; I hope you all got lots of value from my message. I’m so thankful for the opportunity to share.